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Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes

Happy New Year to all my favourite ge-erds! We’ve all seen those “New Year, same shit” reels, I’m sure. It’s true though. Everything is still the same, only a number has changed (lol). But yeah, let’s hope this year turns out better than the last one. I pray for all you single people out there. May y’all get a bf/gf, or a doll, if that’s what you’re interested in (here at Ge-erdy Verse, we don’t judge). And what better way to start the year than reviewing some of the best action animes tagged with ecchi and harem? So, buckle up and come with me for a list that will put us in Santa’s naughty list! BTW, I’m Sloth.

Ok, I’ll admit it. Both Scarlett and Reaper have watched way more animes than me. But, and it’s a big one, that’s only because I’m interested in one specific category of animes. The ones tagged with action, ecchi and harem. Sure, I’ve seen some all-time bangers, like Shingeki no Kyojin, Kimetsu no Yaiba, Death Note, Classroom of the Elite (Ayanokoji’s manipulation skills have rubbed off on me fr), and others. But, my heart yearns for seeing those dense protagonists making soft porn with girls who demonstrate the workings of gravity better than Newton himself. As Reaper would describe longingly, “Ahh, those perky bounties that haven’t seen the cruel side of gravity! Ahh, those white boxes hiding the pink treasures of high-school girls! What can be more heavenly that that?”

Let’s start with the popular ones.

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
High School DxD

There’s no way you haven’t heard about this one. This is what most of otakus (including me, of course) begin their descent into the ecchi sinkhole with. The plot is pretty simple, though it is better than the other ones in this niche. It all starts when Issei gets killed by his ‘girlfriend’ on their first date (here’s hoping the same doesn’t happen to me). From there on, it’s a spiral into madness, boobies, devils, fallen angels, magical powers and more boobies. Four seasons and many OVAs will certainly keep you busy, if you haven’t watched this yet. And, Venelena (Rias’s mom) is the best girl, or woman.

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Shinmai Maou no Testament

Two girls, Maria (a succubus) and Mio (daughter of the previous Demon Lord), arrive at Basara’s house after tricking his father into thinking that he was gonna marry their ‘mother’, and they kick Basara out after Daddy leaves. Plot twist: Basara is a hero. Second plot twist: Daddy is one of the most powerful heroes, and knew all along; he just wanted his son to smash. Talk about a perfect wingman! I just realized while writing this that Chisato and Basara have taken their relationship all the way in the manga. And here I was waiting for the next season of the anime T_T. Gotta binge-read those mangas!

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Highschool of the Dead

A zombie apocalypse, guns and boobies! And some lines like “You seem to enjoy getting girls wet”. Plot? Maybe. But don’t expect any more episodes since Daisuke died. Such a shame! Oh well, I just watch it once couple years and then put it at the back of my head. I still know the names. Takashi, Rei, Hurano, Takagi, Saeko, Arisu, Shizuka and the best pup ever Zero. The golden age of ecchi+harem+action is truly over.

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou

The scaly skin of a snake wrapping around you, the sharp claws of a bird raking across your chest, a sticky slime encompassing you with its comfortable warmth, the powerful muscles of a horse under your ass, picture all these but replace half of their bodies with those of girls and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what this anime promises. My fav girl is Cerea (and not coz of her absolute big boobies).

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Strike the Blood

Are we getting a fifth season or nah? I swear I’d seen the first two eps of it. Oh well, a vampire one this time. There are 4 primogenitors (powerful vampires), the fourth being Kojou. He’s a high-school student as usual, and meets a girl sent to monitor him, Himeragi. There are explicit scenes sprinkled throughout the series, such as hand-holding, the occasional underwear reveal, and the most unholy of them all- sucking blood! How is this anime still not hentai?!

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Shuumatsu no Harem

It’s 2040, and 99.9% of men have been killed by the… Male Killer virus (yup, real creative name right there). The rest are in put in cryostasis, and our protagonist, Reito, is one of the five men alive in a world of FIVE BILLION WOMEN! Dream, right? Except there’s dirty politics at play, coz let’s be honest, that was needed to give this anime some kind of plot or else it would have devolved into a massive super-harem breeding hentai.

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Masou Gakuen HxH

Ho ho ho! Hida gets transferred to a defence school, coz of his older sister. Here, most students have an ability called Heart Hybrid Gear that they use to fight strange aliens invading their world. Hida’s ability isn’t strong enough, but he can make the girls “release” to increase their power. And the dresses the girls wear during fights are creative of course (for ease of movement surely). There are those natural emotional moments every anime needs to have. So, watch it if you like metaphors of water spilling on the floor.

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Campione!

The Gods exist and cause waste to life and property, which normal people consider natural disasters. Enter Godou, a mortal who defeats a God and becomes a God Slayer or a Campione. Now, a bunch of Heretic Gods wanna challenge him, and he also gets the usual group of devoted girls that every powerful harem protagonist gets. There are some intense tongue-kissing scenes, so you better be above the age of 18.

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Isekai Meikyuu de Harem o

Michio gets transported to a fantasy world after finding a strange website that was like a character builder for a game. There are dungeons, slaves, yada yada. He makes a slave harem coz they are obedient from the beginning (I get you, bro). There are some scenes that are 16+ (hey, this is an ecchi list, not a hentai one), but they’re not strong enough to make your a go d (bet you didn’t get it). Worth watching? I mean, at this point, you’re not really sticking around for plot, are you? If no, then it’s worth watching (lol).

Ecchi: The Soft Porn Equivalent of Animes
Ore dake Haireru Kakushi Dungeon

There is a dungeon that is hidden and only one guy can access it. Nor, the son of a small noble family. He needs to kiss girls to decrease his headaches (I should do this irl sometime), and erotic moments also increase his LP that helps him create more skills. What can you expect from this short and sweet anime? Kissing, groping, a sizeable harem, a sister that likes to beat up her brother, and an unholy amount of the phrase “…, is that what you thought I’d say?”

That was it for today. Moral of this blog? I can’t find the later volumes of the manga of Shinmai Maou no Testament T_T. so long, peeps. Happy procrastinating!

Console VS PC: How Much Money You Got?

Console VS PC: How Much Money You Got?

This entire week, we’ve been talking about games, movies and animes. Well, movies and animes you can watch with just a mobile and a Wi-Fi connection. Games, on the other hand? Nah, those bad boys chew through your dollars faster than a hungry racoon in a trash can buffet. Especially if you’re a PC gamer. With all the constant ‘need’ to keep upgrading your setup, you’ll often find yourself staring at the cavernous depths of your empty wallet, questioning if that shiny new GPU was worth surviving on instant noodles for a month.

Sup peeps, Sloth here, and today we’re gonna be discussing nerd stuff. Or tech stuff, whichever suits your tongue. First, we’ll be looking at consoles. And then, we’ll move over to PCs. Beginning with…

Xbox

Owned by Microsoft, it was first introduced in the US in November 2001. The 1st Generation of Xbox had a 733 MHz 32-bit Intel Pentium III CPU and a 233 MHz NVIDIA custom GeForce 3 NV2A DirectX 8.0 based GPU with 64 MB DDR SDRAM. It has sold roughly 24 million units. The launch price was $300.

Four years later, we saw the release of Xbox 360. Launched at $300 again, it contained a 3.2 GHz IBM PowerPC tri-core CPU and a 500 MHz ATi custom Radeon X1800 DirectX 9.0c based GPU with 512 MB of GDDR3 RAM. It has sold over 84 million units.

On November 22, 2013, the Xbox One was released at $500. Having sold over 58 million units, it features a 1.75 GHz AMD x86-64 eight-core CPU and a 853 MHz AMD Radeon HD 7000 series DirectX 11.1, DirectX 12 based GPU with 8 GB of DDR3 RAM. In August 2, 2016, an S version at $300 was released with the GPU upgraded to 914 MHz AMD Radeon HD 7000 series DirectX 11.1, DirectX 12 based GPU. It introduced support for 4k gaming. Again, in November 7, 2017, Xbox One X came out boasting a 2.3 GHz semi-custom AMD x86-64 eight-core CPU and a 1172 MHz AMD GCN DirectX 11.1, DirectX 12 based GPU with 12 GB of GDDR5 RAM. This version fully supported 4K gaming at 60 fps and was priced at $500.

The Xbox Series was launched on November 10, 2020. It had 2 variants, an S version at $300 and an X version at $500. The S version had a 3.6 GHz custom AMD Zen 2 eight-core CPU and a 1550 MHz AMD Custom RDNA 2 DirectX 12 based GPU with 10 GB of GDDR6 RAM. It could render at 1440p in 60 fps with support for 4K upscaling. And then there was the beast: X version. With a 3.8 GHz custom AMD Zen 2 eight-core CPU and a 1825 MHz AMD Custom RDNA 2 DirectX 12 based GPU with 16 GB of GDDR6 RAM, it supported gaming at 8K at 60 fps and 4K at 120 fps.

PlayStation

Owned by Sony, it was first introduced in Japan in December 1994. The PS was priced at $300 and had a R3000A 32bit RISC chip. Released the following year, the PS1 was released in July, 2000.

On march 4, 2000, the PS2 was released at $300. It had a 300 MHz MIPS “Emotion Engine” and a 147 MHz “Graphics Synthesizer”. A Slimline version was released on October 29, 2004 at $150.

The next one had 3 versions: PS3 at $600, PS3 Slim at $300 and PS3 Super Slim at $270. They were released on November 11, 2006, August 27, 2009 and September 25, 2012 respectively. It had a 3.2 GHz Power ISA 2.03-based PPE with eight 3.2 GHz SPE and a 550 MHz RSX “Reality Synthesizer” (based on Nvidia G70 architecture) 192 – 251.2 GFLOPS.

PS4 had Slim and Pro versions too on top of the original. The original was released on November 15, 2013 at $400 for 500 GB, the Slim on September 15, 2016 at $350 for 1 TB, and the Pro on November 10, 2016 at $400 for 1 TB. The PS4 and PS4 Slim had 8-Core 1.6 GHz AMD, and the PS4 Pro had 8-Core 2.1 GHz AMD.

PS5 had 3 similar versions. PS5 was released on November 12, 2020 at $500 for 825 GB, the Slim on November 10, 2023 at $500 for 1TB, and the Pro on November 7, 2024 at $700 for 2 TB. All had 8-Core variable frequency (3.5 GHz capped) AMD “Zen 2”.

PC

Ho ho ho! So, you’ve decided you wanna up your game. You’re gonna spend those big bucks for the mods, the repacks, ahh good old PC gaming! There are lots of combinations you can try. CPUs are provided by Intel and AMD, while GPUs are provided by both of them and also NVIDIA.

Right now, the latest Intel processor you can buy is the Intel Core i9-14900K. it has 24 cores, with 8 P-cores and 16 E-cores, and 32 threads. A base clock speed of 3.2 GHz, which can be increased to 6 GHz. There’s also 36 MB of Intel Smart Cache and 32 MB of L2 Cache. It’ll require a base power of 125 W and 253 W at maximum turbo. It does come with an integrated GPU Intel UHD Graphics 770, but we’ll use others. And the price? $600. Heh. Already above PS5 Pro.

Let’s come to AMD. The latest is AMD Ryzen 9 9950X, with 16 cores and 32 threads. The base clock speed is 4.3 GHz and the maximum is 5.7 GHz. The L2 cache is 16 MB and L3 is 64 MB. The default TDP is 170 W. BTW, it costs $650.

Let’s talk GPUs. A work of art, the NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090, with AD102 processor, 16,384 shading units, 24 GB memory and GDDR6X memory type. It has a TDP of 450 W, and we suggest a PSU of 850 W to go with it. It costed a whopping $1600 at launch.

The 2nd best GPU on the market is arguably the AMD Radeon RX 7900 XTX, with Navi 31 processor, 6144 shading units, 24 GB memory and GDDR6 memory type. It has a TDP of 355 W, our suggested PSU being 750 W. The launch price was $999.

Now, it depends on your budget what you want to buy. For console gaming, you need a console, a screen, a controller, and games. For example, the Xbox Game Pass Ultimate costs $20 per month and you can download more than 100 games for console and PC. And the PlayStation Plus Premium costs $18 per month, with up to 340 titles in the game library. Now, we won’t be talking about peripherals, coz that would make this blog insanely big, but maybe in our next tech blog. Oh, and one last warning. Once you’ve experienced the beauty of an OLED screen, there’s no going back. Hold that thought till we meet again. So long, peeps. Happy procrastinating!

Source: Horizon Forbidden West

SL(GBTQ+)OTH’S TAKE ON QUEER ROMANCE

“If it ain’t black, I ain’t taking it!” That’s what Reaper used to say (and still does) after coming out the closet about 4 months ago. He was searching for a suit to wear to a friend’s wedding. Despite having suits that represented the whole LGBTQ+ community with how colourful they were, he still didn’t find a black one.

Sup gamers, Sloth here, and if you haven’t guessed already, today’s topic will be some of my favourite LGBTQ+ romances from different games. Including LGBTQ+ romances makes gaming more inclusive and diverse. More people feel accepted, and that leads to a wider audience. Exploring LGBTQ+ relationships also adds depth and variety to storytelling. It allows writers to craft unique narratives, explore complex emotions, and reflect the diversity of real-world experiences. Well-written LGBTQ+ romances challenge stereotypes and showcase the humanity and depth of these relationships. This can help combat prejudice and encourage empathy among players. So, personally, I do feel that LGBTQ+ relationships should be featured in more games. Or at least, choices could be given like in Mass Effect.

Source: Square Enix

Developed by Dontnod Entertainment and published by Square Enix, Life is Strange is an episodic narrative adventure game. The story centres on Max Caulfield, an 18-year-old photography student who discovers she has the power to rewind time after saving her childhood friend Chloe Price from a fatal gunshot. It is set in the fictional town of Arcadia Bay, Oregon. Together, they investigate the disappearance of Rachel Amber, Chloe’s close friend, and uncover dark secrets about their town. But every action that Max takes leads to the butterfly effect. After she goes to San Francisco, she calls Chloe, realizing that, for all her effort, a storm she had envisioned at the beginning of the story has reached Arcadia Bay. At the end, we have to make a heart-wrenching choice: sacrifice Chloe to save Arcadia Bay or let the town be destroyed to keep her alive.

Source: TheGamer

Throughout the game, Max becomes Chloe’s anchor, supporting her through grief, anger, and fear. Chloe, in turn, becomes Max’s confidante, encouraging her to take risks and embrace her newfound time-rewinding powers. As they navigate the mysteries of Rachel Amber’s disappearance, the dangers posed by Arcadia Bay’s darker side, and the emotional struggles in Chloe’s life, their bond starts deepening. There is a kiss scene in the 3rd episode for those who want to form a romantic relationship between Max and Chloe. Also, Max’s choices in conversations and decisions throughout the game subtly shape the romantic tone. Be sure to prioritize her above others if you want these two to end up together. The romance between Max and Chloe is celebrated for its authenticity and emotional resonance. Their relationship is free from tropes or stereotypes often associated with LGBTQ+ narratives (ehem, ehem… I won’t say anything about this), focusing instead on their raw emotions and individual growth.

Source: Steam

Developed by Guerilla Games and published by Sony Interactive Environment, the story in Horizon Forbidden West picks up six months after the events of Horizon Zero Dawn. The Horizon Forbidden West: Burning Shores DLC expands the story of Horizon Forbidden West, focusing on Aloy as she journeys to a volcanic, post-apocalyptic Los Angeles. After the events in the main game have transpired, Sylens sends Aloy on a mission to investigate a new threat in the Burning Shores, a treacherous landscape filled with lava flows, violent storms, and dangerous dino-robots. This is where our charismatic redhead meets Seyka of the Quen tribe, who is searching for her lost people. Together, they uncover a new faction of the Far Zeniths and face off against Walter Londra, a charismatic yet sinister Zenith obsessed with leaving Earth to colonize the stars.

A redhead-and-brunette pair is truly eye-candy, just below a brunette-and-blonde pair. The relationship between Aloy and Seyka marks a significant development in Aloy’s emotional journey. She met Seyka early in her mission to the Burning Shores. At first, their relationship was built on mutual respect for each other. Aloy found her confidence and ingenuity compelling. As the game progressed, Seyka proved to be more than just a capable ally- she was someone who Aloy looked up to. Her bravery and willingness to take risks amazed Aloy. Slowly, the two began to open up to each other about their personal lives, with Seyka sharing her responsibility toward her people and Aloy revealing her isolation as the saviour of humanity. Seyka’s forthright nature contrasts with Aloy’s tendency to be guarded. With her encouraging Aloy to share her feelings and doubts, we see moments of vulnerability between them. They relied on each other not just for survival, but as emotional anchors amidst the chaos.

At the end of the DLC, Seyka tells Aloy she wants to be with her and hopes she feels the same. We are given three options- Fist is “This is too much for me”, Brain is “I’m not ready for this”, and Heart is “Yes, I do”. Me being me, of course I chose the last one. They both share a tender kiss, probably both of their first kisses the way they reacted. Not gonna lie, it took me back to my own first kiss (lol). This did mark a huge step in Aloy’s personal life, and I hope the devs build on it in future games coz obviously, the story isn’t over yet.

That was it for today. Moral of the blog? The only L I take is that in LGBTQ+. So long, peeps. Happy procrastinating!

Dating Sims: Games I Used to Play in my Weeb Phase

Dating Sims: Games I Used to Play in my Weeb Phase

DISCLAIMER: This blog is just an appreciation of a certain genre that I personally find cringe. This genre is not for everyone. It’s for those people who either have too much free time on their hands, or are just sad. Also, this blog in no way represents my likes, for I am into MILFSSSS!

Moe used in slang refers to feelings of affection, adoration, devotion, and excitement felt towards characters that appear in manga, anime, video games, and other media (usually Japanese). Moe (in the context of Japanese popular culture) the quality in a fictional female character of being youthfully innocent and vulnerable in an idealized way, perceived as eliciting feelings of affection or protectiveness. The Ministry of Education (MoE) was created on September 26, 1985, through the 174th amendment to the Government of India (Allocation of Business) Rules, 1961. Yeah, we’re talking about some “moe visual novel apps”.

Source: Moe! Ninja Girls

Moe! Ninja Girls/Sexy School is a mobile game for Android and iOS, it also is available on PC through Facebook and Steam. It is developed by NTT Solmare Corporation. You’re a genius ninja that hides your true identity and transfers to Mizaki School when the cherry blossoms are in bloom. Surrounded by cute schoolgirls, you finally get the peaceful everyday school life that you’ve always longed for. Through a twist of fate, you end up in a “Ninja Seeking Club” at school to find ninjas! As you spend your days busy with girls and club activities, you start to discover the true identities of your fellow club members… Can you unmask your favourite girl’s identity? And what’s the big secret behind Mizaki School?

Source: Moe! Ninja Girls

That was copied from Play Store, by the way. Its basically an anime with tags- harem, ecchi, slice-of-life, and comedy, but the ending changes depending on your choices. The protagonist, Kazuki Araya, is secretly a ninja (a rather powerful one, it seems) and you just wanna enjoy a quiet life at school. By quiet life, I mean the life you’ve seen in mangas and animes. There are many girls to choose from, obviously. Ever-optimistic Akari, tsundere Enju, kuudere Ricka, cute and shy kouhai Myu, flirtatious Tengge, otaku Yamabuki, ignorant Lily, another otaku Nanao, and fashionable Hotaru.

The plot is basic, with some twists here and there. There is a ticket system that allows you to unlock each chapter. 30 seasons and many extra stories and spin-offs are enough to keep you interested for a long time, unless you spend money. Oh and there are about 2 checkpoints each season which you’ll have to absolutely grind your ass off for. Good luck with that! There’s this ninja fight section too… and I haven’t understood till now how to play that shit. NTT Solmare used to conduct events one after the other before, though I dunno if they do so now too. Its definitely worth checking out though, if you’re into dating sims, that is.

Dating Sims: Games I Used to Play in my Weeb Phase

Let’s talk about some other games from NTT Solmare. By the way, all of the other games are from a female perspective, called otome games. ‘Ninja Shadow Shall we date?’ is a game where our heroine pretends to be her dead brother… and finds love on the battlefield. ‘WizardessHeart – Shall we date’ is a game where our heroine gets accepted to the most prestigious magical school, and… meets three boys. ‘Love Tangle – Otome Anime Game’ where you moved to a new city and are now living in a luxury apartment… with attractive neighbours. ‘Guard me, Sherlock! – otome’ where you date… Sherlock Holmes, John Watson and… even James Moriarty? ‘Otome Games Obey Me! NB’, ‘Lost Alice – otome sim game’, ‘Blood in Roses – Otome Game’ all these are similar games, so check them out. And I think their main game right now is ‘Obey Me! Anime Otome Sim Game’. I mean, at least the name is properly written.

Moving on to another dev, we’ve got Genius Studio Japan that “brings you the hottest original bishoujo game content for your smartphone!” They have, and I kid you not, a hundred and forty games. Don’t think all of them are original, but what do I know? I only played 2 chapters before giving up in frustration at the slow rate the tickets were getting collected. And you can only hold 2 tickets at one time. Oh, and there’s a minigame- a slot machine with one of the worst RNG I’ve ever seen. And the plot? Oh boy, where do I start? The ‘choices’, if they can be called that, essentially amount to good (paid) or bad (free). Well, whatever. You can install a bunch of them at the same time, and play them.

Let’s see what’s next… oh, there are a bunch of other romance games you can get on Play Store. Gameloft has two of them… you know what, just go to Play Store and search “romance games”. Why is it showing I’d searched “romance games in bedroom”? But… if there’s one game I’d personally recommend, it is Path to Nowhere.

I know, I know. I had talked about this game before, but stay with me now. See, I hadn’t said anything about romance in this game. The truth is, Path to Nowhere doesn’t showcase your traditional love stories. The romantic themes are more about complex, emotionally charged relationships that develop in the context of its gritty world. As I’ve said earlier, the game portrays a dystopian world where we, as the “Chief,” must manage and guide Sinners—individuals with dangerous powers imprisoned for their crimes.

Source: Path to Nowhere

Most of the Sinners flirt with the Chief, emphasizing trust and understanding in a world that discourages vulnerability. During interrogations with the Sinners, we learn more about their pasts and their personal lives. Relationships teeter on the edge of professionalism and personal connection, creating tension. Many Sinners carry heavy emotional baggage or dark pasts. Romantic undertones sometimes emerge as part of their character arcs, suggesting that their bond with the Chief could be a path toward emotional healing or redemption. This shows that even in a platonic or unspoken sense, love and connection can bring out the humanity in characters who’ve been hardened by circumstances.

Source: Path to Nowhere

Path to Nowhere avoids overt romantic narratives, instead opting for subtlety. We may read deeper into the bonds between characters based on our own preferences and interpretations, allowing for a personalized sense of connection. This open-ended approach makes the romantic subtext feel organic and integrated into the game’s narrative rather than forced. Love or affection is rarely pure or uncomplicated. Instead, it’s portrayed as a fragile light in an otherwise dark and chaotic world. Thus, while love isn’t a central theme of Path to Nowhere, it is rather artfully woven into the character dynamics, creating an emotional hook for people like me, people who are more interested in connections that are complex, layered and rich with subtle details.

That was it for today. Moral of the blog? Go play Path to Nowhere, it’s a great game for mobile. So long, peeps. Happy procrastinating!

P.S. Fuck you, Reaper.

Source: Crown Studio

A Maidenless Tries to Find Romance in the Wrong Places

WARNING: This piece of content contains explicit material and viewer’s discretion is advised. This is a simp-post, not to be read everywhere. Elden Ring is rated 16+ and Witcher 3 is rated 18+, but we know how you bastards love to lie about your age. So, don’t read this in public, for we do not want our blog to be reported for nudity. 

Romance- a luxury few gamers can afford. Sir, I sit comfortably in a dark room in front of a laptop. Lara Croft, the girls in Baldur’s Gate 3, the different romance options in Witcher 3, oh and Queen Marika from Elden Ring (the fandom version, a true Mommy), these are what I can confidently think about. Dating sims have taught me I have enough rizz. But talking to girls irl? Nahhhh. I mean, I can get a girl if I want, sure. But I choose to remain single. As Dan Bennett says, 10’s only season. Sorted.

Sup gamers, Sloth here, and if you haven’t guessed it already, I have an unhealthy addiction for Elden Ring. Marika’s tits, I swear it’s Reaper’s fault. Let’s talk more about romance, though. And what’s a better place to start than a game when you’re mocked at the beginning for being “maidenless”. FromSoftware’s latest RPG (well not latest anymore, since Nightreign is looming on the horizon) is no different from the others, featuring dark and apocalyptic worlds with extremely little to no romance. Did that stop the horny mass known as the playerbase from scouring the game world looking for female characters and choosing their favourite waifus? Definitely not. Also… Varre, according to the community, the dead maiden in the Chapel of Anticipation was ours. She was killed by Godrick’s men. We Tarnished aren’t maidenless!

Source: R34

We do have quite a levy of maidens to choose from, lucky us. Melina who offered us a spectral horse and later threatened to deliver punishment upon us if we killed her horse, Fia who would sleep with people on their deathbed but also hugged us whenever we wanted, Nepheli, a muscle mommy with chocolatey skin (mhm… sexy), Roderika, the kindest girl in that world, Rya, dream girl of anyone into bestiality (does she produce eggs?), Millicent, who was suffering from scarlet rot and yet didn’t give up, Hyetta, the crazy girl who wanted to be burnt by the flames of Chaos, Sellen, who was later revealed to be quite the beauty under the mask, Ranni, a doll that can talk and do many things (how does she even… nvm), are some of them.

Source: R34

Elden Ring gamers aren’t to be underestimated, though. We’ve even started eyeing the female bosses. From Renalla, with the otherworldly beauty you see in Renaissance paintings to Malenia, the most powerful hence most craved (she gonna get my babies one day). And then, there are some new female NPCs and bosses introduced in the DLC, like Romina, a bug woman (?) and… Metyr, mother of fingers (definitely a MILF I’d stay away from). Let’s really get into the topic I’d wanted to discuss though.

Romance in Elden Ring is tragic and symbolic. In one ending, you become Ranni’s consort, go with her on a trip for a thousand years and leave the Lands Between on its own to heal and mend. It involves breaking the shackles of the Greater Will and embracing the unknown. This is an act of trust and devotion. Well, you don’t get betrayed in the end, so I guess your love was not misplaced. Though it is sad that you leave a land infested by deathblight and other dangerous creatures to elope with someone who basically caused it all. Love really is blind, huh?

Source: Elden Ring

There’s Fia, symbolizing a nurturing yet sorrowful love. Her role as a Deathbed Companion is to cradle the dead and offer them a last few moments of peace before they move on. Near the end of her questline, she decides to sleep with Godwyn’s corpse and bear the first of Dead demigods in the form of a rune. But at the end, she dies to D’s brother. While not romance, there’s the bond between Melina and the Tarnished. Unless you use the frenzied flame at the Forge of the Giants, she sacrifices herself to set the Erdtree on fire. And if you do use the Frenzied Flame to burn the Erdtree, she vows to kill you. A relationship that doesn’t have any conclusion, that’s what it is.

Then, there’s- “oh stfu talk about other games too, you Elden Ring addict”

Sigh! Fine…

What should I talk about next… Ahh, got it! The Witcher 3! Geralt is a rather charismatic man, with two primary romance options and five secondary ones. And then there are the brothels you can visit provided you have the 40 crowns necessary. The first (and my favourite) is Yennefer. She does seem rude, condescending, self-important and aloof, but Yen is a very emotional person who prior to the games was afraid of forming attachments with others. This is a lot clearer if you know about their backstory. Also, Geralt left her. After they first met in the Last Wish, he left her sleeping with a flower on the pillow and she didn’t see him again for years I think it was. He was the first to be scared of the attachment, and after that it reads to me that she hardened herself against that rejection. Oh, and she’s just my type, but whatever.

Second, Triss. Triss’ relationship with Geralt, while rocky like any of his “good” relationships are, goes a long way. They’re very charming and sweet together; they tend to discuss their disagreements peacefully and don’t treat each other with toxicity. I like Triss for her wit, her sass, her courage and all that. She’s funny and enjoyable to be around. I’m not the best at explaining characters, sadly; I just really do like Triss as a character, flaws and all, regardless of her being a romantic interest – and I think she is a good pair with CDPR’s Geralt. Book Yen is the best match for Geralt, but CDPR’s Triss is great and far better than their Yen.

That aside, DON’T try to romance Triss and Yen together. Yes, I’m looking at you horny brats. I’ve tried it, and let me tell you, its not worth it. They tell you they wanna share you, but then they cuff you to a bed and leave. After this, any conversation regarding romance with either of the two women will result in them telling you to fuck off. There are some secondary romances too, like Keira Metz, Madame Sasha, Jutta an Dimum, Shani from the Hearts of Stone DLC, and Syanna from Blood and Wine DLC. And if you’re incapable of scoring any of them, the brothels are always up and running.

Source: The Witcher 3

That was it for today. Moral of this blog? Stop looking for girls in-game and go talk to them irl. And, yeah don’t point at me. I’ve rizz, I swear. So long, peeps. Happy procrastinating!

PC Release Dates for 2025

PC Release Dates for 2025

The Game Awards 2024 saw some great trailers for games that look quite promising. Since the trailers are already out, this is a list of some of the PC games we are looking forward to.

1. DOOM: The Dark Ages: Shooting and killing demons remains, and the gore is obviously a must. And just when the fans had thought the DOOM Slayer couldn’t get more badass, they proved us wrong. I mean, a shield is kinda weird with a gun. But a shield that turns into a chainsaw? Are you kidding me? I can see myself spending whole nights, playing this like crazy. And the trailer showed a dragon. Oh God, take my money and let me play this already.

2. Death Stranding 2: Ah, yeah. The game which I can still play after 3 completions and find something new in the plot. Apparently, they’re going beyond USA in this one. The trailer already promises new weapons, vehicles and Higgs wielding an electric guitar axe that shoots out lightning bolts. A 10-minute trailer that leaves too many questions. Typical Kojima, eh?

3. Elden Ring NIGHTREIGN: An open-world game, check. Taking place in the Elden Ring world, check. Different Elden Ring builds, check. Play sessions of 45 minutes each, check. New bosses that’ll beat the shit out of you, check. What else? Ah right, 3 player co-op. Gotta go make friends. But other than that, perfection. Lol, but yeah. I’m really looking forward to this one. They can make it another big success, though I read somewhere that Miyazaki and his team aren’t developing it.

Those were the top 3. Now this is the release schedule for the others (with their Steam store pages):

January 2025:

February 2025:

March 2025:

April 2025:

I’ll be updating this list as we get to know about the release schedules of other games. In the meantime, go check out our other blogs. That’s it for now. Happy procrastinating.

My List of Mobile Games You Should Try

My List of Mobile Games You Should Try

How It All Started

A trillion years ago, when prehistoric humans used to play games on their XtinctBoxes and PaleozoicS5s, one man stood above the rest. Named Sloth by the ladies, he used trigonometry and other stuff someone like me won’t understand to invent the world’s first smartphone, astonishing everyone. A handheld device capable of running games opened up a world of possibilities. Be it while riding mammoths to the latest Taylor Swift’s concert or taking a poo on the peak of Mount Everest, people always had a smartphone in their hands. But the situation soon escalated. It started with small events here and there, husbands forgetting to gift manes of lions to their wives, children neglecting their daily yoga sessions, and such. Divorces and disownments started happening at alarming rates. Finally, it got so out of hand that they had to break all the smartphones and bury the blueprints at the depths of the Pacific Ocean. True story.

Wassup, people who’ve come here knowingly or unknowingly. Sloth here and today, I’m gonna talk about some mobile games I like. Yeah, it’s more of a personal list than scouring through websites. So, buckle up and let’s dive into those small rectangular boxes of wonders.

Source: MuMu Player

1. There’s football and basketball, but you…. fight? The first one is Brawl Stars by Supercell. This action game and I go way back. Like 2020. When I first played it, it had like 40 brawlers. Now it’s over 80. There are many modes you can play, like Gem Grab where your team must collect at least 10 gems to win, Showdown where 10 players go solo or in duos to fight to the death, Heist where two teams have a safe each and you have to destroy the opposite team’s safe while protecting your own, and many more. Oh, and you can play 3v3 and 5v5 football too. The catch? You will have to fight with the opponent team while trying to shoot a goal.

Source: Path to Nowhere

2. Mommy waifus with a great plot? Sign me up. I don’t know how to explain the gameplay so here it goes. “Path to Nowhere is a SRPG featured by real-time Tower Defense gameplay.” The battlefield is divided into small squares and the characters, called ”Sinners”, are placed on a square each, with a maximum of six per match. You can move them from one square to another during the battles. The attacks are auto, but you can control their special attacks. There’s a gacha system for acquiring new Sinners, and event gachas for newly released Sinners. They also provide story events on top of the main campaign. And, my favourite Sinner is Chameleon coz…… reasons.

Source: F Rank Adventurer

3. It… it can’t be… Am I really F-class?! Looks like a generic fantasy dungeon rusher, right? Luckily for you, the developers have made this game idle. So, you can just log in once every 24 hours or so to collect your rewards. “But, Sloth. There are so many other idle games out there. Why this specifically?” Okay, first, this is a personal list. Second, this game collabs with other mangas and games, thus having new events every now and then. Third, there are many things to do there. Every few hundred levels later, I seem to discover some new way to increase my power. And, the devs are constantly adding new features. The graphics are bad, though. Pixellated bad.

Source: ExpoThemes

4. I better uninstall it here and play it on my PC instead. Diablo Immortal is one of those games which was released for both mobile and PC with cross-play enabled. Having played both the versions, I can say that playing it on phone feels way less satisfying than a PC. Sure, it takes up like 21 GB only compared to the 70-plus GB it occupies on your PC. But the game feels darker. The controls are better suited for PC. The story’s good, and the bosses are better. The only reason I mentioned it here is coz I feel it’s one of the best MMORPGs you can play on your phone, with the second being…

Source: Genshin Impact

5. Grass exists in real life too. Genshin Impact. I mean, they do keep extending the story endlessly. And the game is suited for those who are willing to pay. But the world is big. There are many bosses and mobs. As usual, the PC version feels a lot better. Oh well, I’ll stop comparing mobile and PC versions. Feels like I’m comparing an integrated Intel graphics card with a NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090 GPU, which is a beast when it comes to gaming and no, this blog isn’t sponsored by NVIDIA (they should). Ah, I got distracted. Yeah, this game is perfect if you want to play a MMO while skipping the story. Ain’t no way people actually pay attention to the entire story.

My List of Mobile Games You Should Try

6. Does the arena ever end? Shadow Fight 4 or Shadow Fight Arena as it was called at the beginning. I had played it at the beginning, like 3 or 4 years ago. I remember I had all the characters back then. Before I uninstalled it. But, the combat was good and I liked the multiplayer concept. The 3D design was an added bonus. I heard they added a story version too. Haven’t checked it out yet, but I think it’s not bad.

Well, that was all. I quite enjoyed making this list. Can’t say if y’all will enjoy reading it. There are lots of other games I could’ve mentioned, like Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, Azur Lane, Reverse: 1999 and others. But, I’m getting tired and I gotta go fight Messmer.

Source: Game Rant

Confession: How Reaper Got Me Addicted to Something Worse Than Drugs

It all started when I was 7 years old, having just discovered por- Just kidding. I got my first desktop back then though. I remember the first game I had played, Purble Place. There was a cake making game I was a menace at. My first ‘proper’ game was Need for Speed: Underground 2, and did I like it. I would spend hours grinding, just to finish first. Now I didn’t know much about cars then, but I remember my favourite was a Nissan model. The graphics and controls seemed damn interesting back then. I did play a few other games, but I don’t remember the names (bummer, I know).

Fast forward to a year ago, and I got the laptop I’m writing this blog with. It’s a pretty mediocre model, with i5 and RTX 3050, but still better than my PC. Well, a new laptop should have some games. I asked Reaper (check out his blogs too) to recommend me a game. Guess what he said? Elden Ring. Hundreds of games he could’ve recommended and he chose Elden Ring. His reason? “Since you’re starting with a difficult game, the next ones will be easy.” This was proved wrong when I got my ass whopped by the Chained Ogre in Sekiro not long after. This is my review and rant on how it feels playing a souls title as one’s first game (or first action game for the critics).

Source: Nexus Mods

So, one fateful day in May, I hopped onto Steam and bought Elden Ring. I opened it the next day… and died to the first boss. Most of y’all did, I’m sure. Finished the tutorial after dying to the soldier of Godrick about 10 times or so. Now I know what you guys are thinking, but remember. My first action game. So anyways, I took the lift and opened the door. As I stepped out into the Lands Between, I felt awestruck by the sheer grandeur of the world. I had zero clue where I should go. I think this was when I fell in love with the open-world concept. The sense of exploring, ending up in new places, falling in traps, suddenly coming in front of a boss, linear maps could never beat that.

Source: Dexerto

I touched the grace (grass lol) and headed down to the Tree Sentinel, pissed off after Varre called me maidenless. And got stomped to death by his horse. That was when I figured out I could around the boss. Kale, the first NPC in this game who was friendly with me. Then, I entered the wolf cave and fought the beastman of Farum Azula. BTW, I had started with the samurai class as I saw he had the most weapons among all. I defeated the beastman after 20+ tries and faced my next challenge. Clearing the soldiers of Godrick just down below in the valley. I may have gotten frustrated and seen a beginner’s guide video that showed how to get the Bloodhound’s Fang and the Bloodflame Blade incantation.

Source: Reddit

After getting stronger, I finally faced Margit with a rune level 32, a +5 Bloodhound’s Fang and still no experience of how to play. I defeated him in 5 tries or so (still an achievement ig). Then, I went on to face Godrick, Radahn and Renalla. After that, I dropped down into the underground cities and obtained the, wait for it, Mimic Tear spirit ash. I know you hardcore souls fans are screaming at me right now, but heh. I can play however I want. And don’t ask me how I knew about the Mimic Tear. I wasn’t seeing more guides, I swear. I went into Leyndell defeated the yellow version of Godfrey (they call him Pissfrey in Discord). And dang. Found out Margit, or rather, Morgott was still alive. Melina looks hot while fighting. So, I summoned my mimic too and got busy buffing myself while they took care of Morgott. Easy fight after that. And I exchanged his remembrance for the weapon. Finally, I could stop using my Bloodhound’s Fang.

I’d gotten the hang of the game by then. I charged through the Lands Between, slaying everyone in my way. Mogh, Godfrey, Radagon, the Elden Beast, and the numerous minibosses here and there, they all died. And I feeling invincible until I hit the roadblock named Malenia. Her attacks, her speed, everything completely overwhelmed me. So, I did what Miyazaki wanted all of us to do. Try over and over till we succeed. It worked. After what I think was the 100th try, I stood in front of her vaporizing body, no flasks, and an almost depleted health bar. And that was when I got it. The thing I’ve been searching for since the beginning, that I’d heard was the reason people struggle in these games. The hit of dopamine. That intense joy. The way my entire body tensed up and then suddenly relaxed. That was my peak gaming moment till now. I wish I could rewind time and go back, just to experience it again.

Source: Elden Ring

That is my experience playing Elden Ring as a new gamer. I did learn things like never giving up and being curious. Oh, and I think I’m now addicted to that dopamine hit. Elden Ring is better than other souls games if you’re a new player and wondering how to get into the souls genre. I mean, if I can do it, anyone can. Anyone who’s interested in games should definitely try it out. Its one of the best RPGs out there, and I think it will go down in history as one of best RPGs of all time.

Source: Reddit

I’ve recently started playing the DLC, and I’ve decided I won’t see any guides or any articles. I’ll just go wherever I want and fight whoever comes in front. I’m glad to say I’ve already defeated the Divine Beast Dancing Lion, Rellana and the Golden Hippopotamus. I’m now in the Shadow Keep and hope to complete it soon. So long, gamers.

Source: Dot Esports
Source: Kojima Productions

A Noob’s Review of Death Stranding

Death Stranding: What even is that?

Released on 4th November, 2019, Death Stranding remained a PlayStation exclusive for almost half a year before getting a Windows port. Developed by Kojima Productions, it features a post-apocalyptic world where you play the role of a porter, Sam Porter Bridges, tasked with reconnecting scattered colonies of isolated survivors to bring a sense of unity to the planet. And delivering packages, coz he’s a porter (duh). As you proceed with the story, you uncover the secrets behind the mysterious event known as the “Death Stranding”, which brought about the rise of invisible creatures called Beached Things (BTs), and caused strange weather phenomena like Timefall-rain that rapidly ages whatever it touches.

Source: Death Stranding
Realistic much?

The graphics were further enhanced in the Director’s Cut version that came out in 2021. There has been a great attention to detail in this game. For example, if you go uphill, the wind coming down will reduce you speed significantly. Compared to having to balance your cargo on your back with both hands, those crawls uphill can be exhausting to look at. Sure, its realistic. But add a couple of BTs chasing after you to pull you down inside their weird black goo, while you’re desperately trying to protect your cargo, and you find yourself cursing at the realism. Or maybe that was just me. And always check for rainbows. They alert you about a Timefall in advance, as it damages cargo and also brings BTs with it.

Why are we still here? Just to suffer.

The game is unique in that it blends elements of survival games, RPGs, and stealth games. The narrative explores the themes. The concept of death is different in this game. When you are killed, you don’t get any “Game Over” screens. You are instead transported to another realm, the “Seam”-a place where people cross over from the living to the dead, and you have to find your way back to your body by following a golden thread. The handprints seen all over his body are said to be the number of times he has repatriated, with a new handprint showing on him after each revival.

Go make friends.

One of the central themes in Death Stranding is the importance of human connection. Most of the time, you are going to cities farther and farther away, trying to bring them back into the chiral network. Another interesting take on this is the online component the game includes, allowing you to trace the paths taken by other players and share supplies and safe houses, without ever physically encountering one another. Wherever you go, you can see bridges and roads built by others who once treaded the same path as yours.

Source: Gamereactor UK
Hope. Indispensable for survival.

The game also delves into the concept of grief and how it affects the human psyche. All the characters have suffered losses and struggling to survive, which brings us to the next theme, hope. The world has become bleak and desolate. Dangers lurk outside the cities, and even inside, the people suffer from various illnesses. Medicines have to be transported from one place to another by porters, and there are MULEs waiting to loot you. But the people still continue to work for a better future. The mission of Bridges, to connect all the cities together and rebuild society represents determination. The common people hope that the porters will reach their cities safely, with their cargo intact. The porters hope they won’t encounter any MULEs or BTs. And the biggest of all hopes is placed on you. Reconnecting the cities together to build a new America.

Source: Kojima Productions
As if it wasn’t complex enough.

The sequel to Death Stranding is shaping up to be just as strange as the original. Its title is Death Stranding 2: On the Beach and its due to launch in 2025. Sam returns as the protagonist, his mission this time being expanding the chiral network to new territories beyond America. The trailer introduces new characters like a puppet companion. Kojima’s signature surrealism shines through with moments like Higgs wielding a guitar-shaped railgun. The mobile base DHV Magellan and the various guns suggest expanded gameplay options. While the plot remains mostly vague, we can expect a story steeped in mystery, cinematic brilliance and metaphorical depth, just like its predecessor.

Should you play this game?

Kojima is well known for his complex plots, and Death Stranding is no different. It’s a lot to wrap one’s head around, and it turns out that even those deeply involved in the game may not have fully understood everything. And apparently, even Kojima himself didn’t understand anything. The game’s narrative is both thought-provoking and emotional, and it provides a unique perspective on what it means to be human. While the game’s mechanics may not be for everyone, its story and themes are sure to leave a lasting impression on those who play it.