Oscars 2025: Biggest Winners, Shocking Moments, and Highlights You Need to Know
Holy chimichangas, folks! Buckle up, because we’re diving headfirst into the wild, wacky, and downright WTF moments of the 97th Academy Awards—a night where Hollywood’s finest asses(naah! not THE CHRIS EVANS ASS!) gathered to pat themselves on the back, shed a few tears, and remind us all why we love (and sometimes loathe) the silver screen. So, grab your popcorn, and let’s dissect this glittery circus, Reaper style.
Catch a support chair or something, for this Reaper is going to change tones and sing you poetry.
Conan O’Brien: The Ginger Ringmaster
First off, let’s talk about our host for the evening, the tall, pale, and perpetually self-deprecating Conan O’Brien. Making his Oscars hosting debut, Conan strutted onto the stage with the kind of confidence you’d expect from a man who’s been rejected by every major network at least twice. His opening monologue was a cocktail of sharp wit, Hollywood satire, and just the right amount of self-loathing to keep things interesting. And let’s not forget that musical number featuring a sandworm from Dune—because nothing says “Welcome to the Oscars” like a giant, phallic desert creature(WELL I’M STILL PISSED DUNE 2 DIDN’T WIN THE BEST PICTURE!).
“Anora” Cleans House: Indie Darling Dominates
In a move that had studio execs choking on their caviar, the indie film Anora swooped in and nabbed five Oscars, including Best Picture. Directed by Sean Baker, who probably financed this film by selling his plasma, Anora reminded us all that you don’t need a $200 million budget to tell a compelling story—you just need grit, talent, and a willingness to max out your credit cards. Baker himself walked away with Best Director and Best Original Screenplay, proving that sometimes, the little guy does win.(Well, we all know as long as it’s a feminist movie it’s gonna win anyway, and that’s exactly why I gasped last year when Barbie didn’t, well Nolan deserved that.)
Mikey Madison: The Underdog Triumphs
Hold onto your butts, because the Best Actress category served up a twist that M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t have seen coming. Mikey Madison, the 25-year-old powerhouse from Anora, snagged the Best Actress Oscar, leaving veterans like Demi Moore (The Substance) and Fernanda Torres (I’m Still Here) to practice their gracious loser faces. Madison’s win was a testament to raw talent and the Academy’s occasional willingness to take a risk on fresh faces.
Adrien Brody: The King of Long-Winded Speeches
Adrien Brody, the human embodiment of a jazz solo that just won’t end, took home the Best Actor Oscar for his role in The Brutalist. His acceptance speech clocked in at nearly six minutes—a duration that had viewers contemplating their life choices and the structural integrity of their couch cushions. While Brody’s talent is undeniable, his penchant for turning acceptance speeches into filibusters is a trait only his mother could love.
Kieran Culkin and Zoe Saldaña: Supporting Stars Shine
In the supporting categories, Kieran Culkin (A Real Pain) and Zoe Saldaña (Emilia Pérez) took home the gold. Culkin, who’s been acting since before he could spell “Oscar,” finally got his due, delivering a heartfelt speech that made us forget about his family’s questionable pizza preferences. Saldaña made history as the first American of Dominican origin to win an Oscar, a milestone that had her (and us) reaching for the tissues(Well personally, I didn’t want Emilia Pérez to win a single award, but oh well).
Technical Awards: The Battle of the Blockbusters
The technical categories saw a showdown between Dune: Part Two and Wicked. Dune dominated in Visual Effects and Sound, because if there’s one thing director Denis Villeneuve knows, it’s how to make sand look sexy(But the audacity of the academy to not even nominate him for the best director category? Unforgivable!). Meanwhile, Wicked twirled away with Best Costume Design and Production Design, thanks to Paul Tazewell’s visionary work, making him the first Black man to win in this category.
International and Animated Features: A Global Celebration
The Oscars weren’t just a love letter to Hollywood; they also tipped their hat to global cinema. Brazil’s I’m Still Here snagged Best International Feature, reminding us that storytelling transcends borders. On the animated front, Latvia’s Flow took home Best Animated Feature, proving that you don’t need a mouse or a minion to make a memorable cartoon.
Musical Misfires and Acceptance Speech Snafus
Every Oscars has its cringe-worthy moments, and this year was no exception. The songwriters for Emilia Pérez decided to sing their acceptance speech for Best Original Song, “El Mal,” prompting viewers to dive for their remotes and question the very nature of art. Meanwhile, Iranian co-director Hossein Molayemi snatched a phone from his partner Shirin Sohani during their acceptance speech for Best Animated Short Film, In the Shadow of the Cypress, a move that had audiences gasping and Twitter fingers flying.
In Memoriam: The Good, The Bad, and The Snubbed
Morgan Freeman delivered a touching tribute to his late friend Gene Hackman during the In Memoriam segment, reminding us all of the fragility of life and the importance of SPF 50. However, the segment drew criticism for omitting notable figures like Shannon Doherty and Alain Delon, leading to a flurry of angry tweets and think pieces about the Academy’s selective memory.
Adam Sandler’s Fashion Statement: Gym Chic
In a move that screamed “I have zero fucks to give,” Adam Sandler showed up in a light blue hoodie and basketball shorts, redefining red carpet fashion and giving middle-aged dads everywhere a new style icon. When Conan O’Brien poked fun at his attire, Sandler stormed off stage in mock indignation, inviting everyone to a post-show basketball game—a gag that was as confusing as it was hilarious.
Technical Glitches: Hulu’s Epic Fail
For the first time, the Oscars were streamed live on Hulu, a decision that seemed progressive until the stream crashed 16 minutes before the end. Viewers were left staring at buffering circles, contemplating the futility of existence, and cursing their internet providers. Hulu has since issued an apology, but the damage was done, leaving a sour note on an otherwise entertaining evening.
Political Undertones: A Surprisingly Mellow Night
In a departure from recent years, the 2025 Oscars were notably apolitical. Sure, there were brief mentions of current events, but for the most part, the ceremony focused on celebrating cinema rather than serving as a platform for political discourse. It was almost as if the Academy collectively decided to take a Xanax and just enjoy the show.
A Night to Remember (or Forget)
The 97th Academy Awards were a rollercoaster of emotions, surprises, and the occasional dumpster fire. From Anora‘s indie-fueled takeover to Adrien Brody’s never-ending speech, the night had everything: history-making wins, unexpected snubs, technical blunders, and enough cringeworthy moments to fuel a decade of internet memes.
Conan O’Brien brought just the right amount of chaos, Adam Sandler redefined “red carpet fashion” by wearing what looked like his Sunday morning hangover outfit, and Hulu decided to take a bathroom break at the worst possible time. Meanwhile, Hollywood’s finest walked away with their shiny golden statues, some with tears in their eyes, others just relieved they didn’t trip on their way up the stage.
Was it the most legendary Oscars ever? Meh. Was it a complete trainwreck? Not quite. But it was one hell of a show—full of unexpected twists, history-making moments, and at least one sandworm. And at the end of the day, that’s exactly why we keep tuning in. See you at the 2026 Oscars, where we’ll probably be talking about Barbie 2: Electric Pinkaloo and whether or not Ryan Gosling finally gets his damn Oscar.
Until then, stay classy, Hollywood. Or don’t.
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Oscars 2025 Predictions: Who Will Take Home the Gold? - Ge-erdy verse
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